The more I learn about Christianity, the more I
realize I don't understand it. I've learned I don't understand anything
about the cross, or grace, or God's divine love. Throughout the years that I've lived in a Christian environment, I've learned words, but I have not learned their meanings or their depth. However, I've learned a
great deal about people in light of the gospel. I understand
brokenness, depravity, and loss, but mostly? Mostly I've learned about
loneliness. I'm starting to under stand why Jesus was called The Man of
Sorrows (Isaiah 53). I'm learning that connecting with your own inner
depravity might be the only way to ever touch even the most outer layer
of truth and redemption when it comes to the cross.
But
through all the things I'm learning, through all the confusion, all the
religion, dogma, disagreements, persecution, and sects, somewhere I
hear my Savior's voice crying out, "This is not who I am."
God refers to Himself as "I AM" in the Bible 719 times. 508 times in the Old Testament and 211 times in the New Testament.
Religious leaders, beggars, towns people, and prostitutes want to know who this God is, and who this man is who is said to be the song of God. Who is He? Is he a religion, a rebel, a king? Maybe. But mainly, He is "I AM." He just is. How is this not a glorious window into God's Character? I believe God is omniscient. He knew that the Bible and being a Christ follower would be perverted, and confused, and changed. He knew we would feel like we are fighting a losing battle. But he does not Lose. He does not change. He tells me to drop the religious nonsense, and follow Him. Follow Jesus, the homeless man, the man of no reputation, of no stature. I tell him I will. Then, through all the confusion and turmoil, He calmly whispers, "I AM." And I rest, because He is.
Lord, let me rest in Your simple truths. Amen.
